Alone – lacking companions or companionship

Have you ever felt this way? Maybe its because your literally all alone. Maybe your surrounded by people yet feeling completely alone. Talking to people feeling like your a hassle to talk to or that your wasting there time. or that everything you say is bouncing off them.they are a wall and absorbing nothing.

This feeling is awful at all times. but i have decided its even worse around holidays. I lost my Mama, April 17th 2008. this was our second christmas without her. it was awful i must admit.She was the type of person who made everyone happy. Especially her favorite granddaughter ;). i know that must sound awfully selfish. but it was how i lived for 14 years. how can someone just take that away in one second. See im the oldest grandchild. m y sister is 13 and i have a 12 year old cousin.7 year old cousin. and 4 year old cousin. i Dont exactly fit in. and i dont fit with the the adults either. So im stuck. I know. i know. how selfish right? but this year. no one could fill the emptiness.i relied on stuff to fill it. and it couldnt. people couldnt. so i have decided its there..i just will have to live with the emptiness she leaves. I mean i love my family so much! they are wonderful! They love me so much and they try so hard. but they arent Mama.

Sorry for the depressing post. It’s life right? luckily i serve a God who will get me through it 🙂

Merry Christmas (1 day late) I hope you all had a wonderful christmas! I got some wonderful presents from my wonderful family and friends! Heres just to name a few:

-Vera Bradley Tall Zip tote/laptop bag, Diddy Bag, Cosmetic Bag

– 5 CD’s

-Twilight,The Notebook,Night at the Musuem

– Lots and Lots of Jewelry 🙂

– 2 new amazing pairs of converses.

– Clothes


– Wonderful Digital Picture Frame ( cant wait to play with that one)

Well of course i got more but these are the main things 🙂 been a pretty wonderful christmas 🙂

well im over my alone feeling. kind of. I’m gonna go catch the marshall game with my family soon

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