There are so many fears I could write about, but one is so heavy on my heart right now. The fear of pain/loss. I can’t bare the thought of those who are close to me being in pain, I carry the burdens, and it breaks my heart. It could be physical pain, or a mental spiritual pain. I actually tend to fear the situation more than the person actually involved. I have a close friend experiencing a physical pain, and it’s killing me. The thought of this person being in pain, and knowing he must be worried hurts me. Some won’t ever understand this fear, but to me it’s very very real.

Although I struggle with this fear, God is teaching me that I’m sinning by worrying and fearing the outcome. I am beginning to realize that in deciding to fear what will happen, I’m choosing not trust God and his decision and his plan. Oh how difficult it is to deal with these situations. Learning to trust God with everything I have giving him every situation that comes before me is very hard. I like to be in control and when I can’t be it kills me.

God keep doing what you’re doing. Teach me to trust in Your divine plan.

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