Money is such a horrible wonderful thing. Life used to be so simple, my parents took care of things, they bought my food, drove me everywhere and gave me money when it was necessary. I worked 2 hours a week so I could have a little bit of spending money but that was all.  Now I find myself constantly spending money. If it’s on gas, parking, food after not being able to eat for hours, presents, trips, and of course buying some things for myself. My life right now is requiring many funds, many funds that I don’t have.

In my previous stage of life I was more tied down, I found myself only being able to do things when i could get mom to give me money. Or only able to go places when someone could take me, and only being able to eat what mom said I could. I will admit in this new stage I am so much more free in being able to choose where I go (to a degree), what I do, and what I eat. But I am so much more bound in having to deal with funds. Next month car insurance is due. I’m going to New York this weekend, 100 dollar bus trip, plus food, shopping, and sight seeing (which is incredibly expensive in NYC). Christmas is in 17 days and I haven’t bought a thing. I’m not really sure where the money is going to come from but I will trust God to take care of it all. I’m going to try and dip into my creative side for Christmas ( like I have time ) and try and use a few of my God given talents to come up with some presents.

The worst thing to factor in is how much I HATE asking my parents for money. Especially when I know they want to give it to me but can’t always supply my wants. Currently, I’m making a Christmas list ,it’s late I know. I hate making Christmas lists because I don’t want people to feel like they have to get me these things. Yes I WANT all of them, but they aren’t needs. I hate asking for them, because then I make my heart and mind want them, and then the disappointment sets in, and it’s all so very difficult. Then it comes down to deciding what things I actually want the most. I strongly dislike the whole system.

Nonetheless I promised I’d write a Christmas list for mommy. Farewell.


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