Painting pictures of Egypt

I feel like every day there is a new song brought to my attention that I could use the lyrics to describe my feelings. Here are todays —–

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me
Either way
And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling out to me
Like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
And the place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
And it wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I’ve learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy
To discard
I was dying for some freedom 
But now I hesitate to go 
I am caught between the Promise 
And the things I know 

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I’ve learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!

If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
And if it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

My favorite line in that song, I was dying for some freedom But now I hesitate to go I am caught between the Promise And the things I know.  That should give you at least a small feeling of what I’m feeling right now. For those of you who know me, know how I ALWAYS said I was going to college, and it was going to be far away. I always thought that the graduate high school, go to college somewhere for 4 years, graduate, and then get married would be how life worked.  But after a lot of discussions with lots of friends recently normal isn’t feeling so comfortable anymore.

Like my last post said, I have this unbelievable peace with uncertainty. I don’t really have a safety net anymore and it’s terrifying but I have Jehovah Shammah by my side. The only things I can truly say about my future right now is that it is in his hands. After being so sure about life so I thought things have certainly changed.

I’m excited, and scared. Prayers would be appreciated:)

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