A, the little girl I babysit is very nosy. Not exactly in a bad way but she just asks LOTS of questions about my life. constantly.
Over the past few months of watching her she has found a few things out about me. 1) I want a lot of kids, 5 or 6 to be exact. 2) I want to adopt a little girl from China. 3) I want to be a “home mom” as she calls it. Because she knows these things she constantly asks me questions about them. “Are you SURE you want to have lots of kids? Do you really like kids? Why do you want to stay home at home? Are you sure you want a little girl from China? What if people make fun of you for looking different? What if your children believe differently than you?” This girl is a smart one and she makes me think constantly. To be honest, I wasn’t able to answer a lot of these questions, at least not in a way a 6 year old will really understand.
Sometimes I question myself…do I really want to be a mom cleaning up messes, never getting sleep, and basically ceasing to exist as an individual? Do I want to make my family my whole purpose? Am I willing to go through the expense and stress of adopting a child from a foreign country? Am I willing to love my children to Jesus, teaching them and training them and showing them the wonderful Father we have?
At one point in my life I didn’t really want anything to do with a life filled with these things. I wanted a career and hoped I would have someone to clean the house and raise my children for me. Slowly my heart changed, and my desire switched from having a career to having a family and I realized what was truly most important to me. The money I would make was far less important than raising a family and pointing them towards Christ.
The answers to A’s questions along with mine are summed up in knowing that my surety is in Christ. He placed this desire in my life, and though sometimes I may question it, He is in control. I can’t answer any of these questions without saying I am sure/willing to do this because of Christ. He calls us all on different paths and the important thing is that we remain sure in Christ and His will for our lives.
I am so glad I can say that I am not sure of my own abilities, strengths, power, or plan; but instead I am sure of the Almighty’s abilities, strengths, powers, and plans that He places in my life.
PS – No, we aren’t planning on having a baby soon. God’s plan for our life right now is to finishing school, and preparing for the future. Although, if He were to choose to change that plan we would trust in His wisdom. This post is more in regards to the future than the here and now.