Tomorrow is our one year anniversary, and today is my sweet friend’s wedding day. I thought I would write a letter on here to her, but it is also sort of a letter to myself a year ago as I was embarking on marriage as a young bride!
Dear Emily, Oh sweet friend! Today you will say your vows and take the last name of another. Just 364 days ago I did the same. This past year has been full of learning, excitement, changes and of course love. The excitement I feel for you as you embark on this journey is almost overwhelming! Marriage is a gift from God that I know you appreciate. As a young bride you are receiving an even more valuable gift. You have been given the chance to grow with your husband, to learn together and seek God fully from day one. You have been spared much heartache and you will get to face so many things that most face alone, with your beloved by your side. You have also been given a special challenge. Many will doubt you and the sureness of your commitment, but I understand. To you, this commitment is just as important now as it would be if you were 25. You are vowing before God and man, to love your spouse until death do you part. This promise is so much more than you and I even realize. I have only seen a small glimpse of what it really means. You will struggle. It’s not all candlelight, roses, relaxation and more. It will be hard as you work to help your beloved through seminary. Sometimes you will wonder if it would have been better to just wait, but then something will happen that will remind you why you chose to marry young, and why you love that man so much. I thought I would write a few things down, that I have probably told you before and you probably know them all. But sometimes it’s good to have somewhere specific you can go and read them again. This is for me as much as it is for you. Here are some things I wish I had known a year ago, and things I hope you realize now.
- Pray with him. I know you do this! Your relationship has been an encouragement and a conviction to me. Don’t let this fall apart. Keep your passion for the gospel at the front of your marriage. Pray with your husband daily, not only will it bring you closer to God; it will bring the two of you closer together. There is not much better than coming before God with your beloved.
- Focus on him, the rest can wait. Oh how I struggle with this one. In being a good wife, you are going to want to clean, do laundry, cook and other wifely duties. These things are all good things to do! But! If your sweetie has been at work or class all day, or maybe the other way around, put your focus on HIM! The cleaning can wait, curl up with him and talk, watch a movie or play a game. Cook dinner with him and make it fun for both of you. The relationship you are cultivating right now is so so so much more important than sweeping the floor. It can wait, but this prime time in your relationship cannot. He is your priority!
- Always cuddle before bed. Okay, I know this one may seem silly, but seriously. Put your phone down and cuddle and talk to him. Talk about your days, your dreams, your struggles. It is my favorite part of the day! Sometimes my phone still wins out, I know, bad wife. But it is such an important part of our day, and if we don’t lay there together and talk at least a few minutes I have such a hard time going to sleep. Make it a priority! Oh and yes, always kiss him goodnight.
- Attempt to understand how he works. How obvious right? But somehow our female minds don’t grasp this and expect them to just work like we do. Big example, most guys need you to REALLY explain it to them and be super specific. I have sent husband to the store many times, and not been quite specific enough and I end up with something completely wrong à I asked for chicken breast and he came home with bone in skin on chicken breast! EW! But my brain assumed the boneless skinless part but forgot to mention it.
- Love him with all you have, and tell him you do. Again, so simple and obvious. But love him Emily. Tell him every day, actually multiple times a day. Show this through every action and let it be your motivation. You are loving him as Christ has loved you which gives you a pretty big responsibility, but I know you will do wonderfully.
I love you sweet friend and I cannot wait for you to join the Wives Club! You will be wonderful and I can’t wait to see where we both are in a year from now. I’m glad to share our anniversary weekends forever! Happy Wedding Day and I wish you and Cody the absolute best! All my love, Megan